Car Dependency and Community

As an adult who does not know how to drive in a car-centric world, I often feel like a walking anomaly. Especially when living in a “do-nothing” area, people wonder how I can function without a car. Where I live, there is a grocery store and pharmacy within walking distance; all other joys and necessities require driving. Though it is mostly attainable to live my life on my two feet, I often need help from friends. This can be daunting. Needing to ask for this help so often is a deficiency that is uncommon to those older than 16. Being reliant on the goodwill of those in my social circle can be embarrassing. The lack of agency, and the necessity of endlessly asking for help can make me feel burdensome. Yet, there are secret benefits to my affliction, I am more social than the average person.

Mixing friend groups. As a person who has the privilege of being friends with an array of people, I get invited fun events and gatherings. Whether they are birthday parties, pre-games, get-togethers, or other joyous soirees, I have to plot in advance how to venture out 15-60 minutes from the comfort of my own home. Having several friends within different circles allows me to ask a friend from one established circle, to drive me to an event that a different group hosted leading to a symbiotic relationship of fun! It takes direct and tactful communication to ensure that all parties are open to the arrangement, but the outcome is worth the bureaucracy. Through mixing friendgroups, you are further enmeshing your circles which proliferates new friendships for all.

I do not have to attend events alone. When there are concerts across state lines, or in cities far away, I immediately run through a list of friends that may be interested in the artist. This could lead to sleepovers in NYC, group outings to local events, and endless long car rides where we are able to recount our joys and notable points of the night with one and other. When planning events, I become more considerate because I need to be factor in the schedules or interests of everyone else around me, to access what brings me joy.

Errands become fun! Even the drudgery of grocery shopping can become a fun hangout. Rather than self-consciously pacing the aisles, praying to the canned food gods to grant me spatial awareness, I have the benefit of having a compadre to justify my existence and point out where my foods of choice are. No longer do I dread collecting my necessities week-by-week, I enjoy the pleasantries I share with those that fill my heart with glee.

People Think About Me! Due to my incessant reaching out ( which is due to my inability to be alone in this world) people think about me! When there are events they want a pal to experience with them, or if they simply don’t want to face the unfeeling cool-toned LEDs in grocery stores alone, I’m their guy! I have witnesses in my life. Each concert, party, and errand has additional utils of happiness due to my wonderful companions.

Yet, this will end. No longer will I need to consider the schedules of others when completing mundane tasks such as reaching Point A to Point B. As this freedom approaches me, a new realization approaches as well. I am not afraid to be reliant, nor am I afraid to be interdependent. What I fear most is complete independence, my lack of need leading to a social atrophy. With a newfound agency, it is imperative that I continue to extend my hand, no matter how daunting.